1
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,860
Um... What the fuck are you doing?

2
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,660
That's the only thing I'm doing.

3
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,200
I'm decorating.

4
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,620
Why are you... Are those Christmas
lights?

5
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,800
Yes. They are Christmas lights. It's
Christmas.

6
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,520
Yeah, but why are you putting them in my
room?

7
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:39,040
Well... We have the lovely pleasure of
rooming together because I don't have a

8
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,040
room.

9
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:41,880
What? You're staying in here?

10
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,720
Do you want me sleeping on the couch?

11
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,600
I mean, I don't want you sleeping in my
room.

12
00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:57,640
Well, as your step-aunt, you don't have
an option.

13
00:00:57,980 --> 00:01:00,260
Don't say that. That's so fucking weird.

14
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,480
You're like, you're like my age.

15
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:12,760
But, rules are rules, and however you
like it or not, I am your

16
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:13,449
step-aunt.

17
00:01:13,450 --> 00:01:14,870
Which means I have authority.

18
00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:17,150
Quit saying that. It's so weird.

19
00:01:17,390 --> 00:01:18,390
I hate that.

20
00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:20,550
To do what I want.

21
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,390
I can honestly be like my fucking mom's
age or something.

22
00:01:23,590 --> 00:01:24,590
It's so weird.

23
00:01:25,030 --> 00:01:30,090
Well, that's just how a cookie crumbles.

24
00:01:30,370 --> 00:01:33,010
And it is what it is.

25
00:01:33,230 --> 00:01:36,830
And I'm sleeping in here and not on the
couch.

26
00:01:42,190 --> 00:01:44,450
Are you just, like, gonna keep those on
all night?

27
00:01:46,070 --> 00:01:47,250
Yes. It's Christmas.

28
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:48,650
Don't be a Grinch.

29
00:01:48,910 --> 00:01:52,510
I'm not a Grinch. I love Christmas, but,
like, this is like a lodge. I'm just,

30
00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:54,790
like, putting lights all over my room,
and you just walked in.

31
00:01:55,910 --> 00:01:58,850
It's one strip of lights. I think you'll
survive.

32
00:01:59,190 --> 00:02:00,190
Okay, fine.

33
00:02:00,930 --> 00:02:02,010
I think you'll survive.

34
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:08,370
I mean, I don't know why you look so
negative about everything. I just walked

35
00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:09,370
in here.

36
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:10,930
Exactly.

37
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,300
Well, I mean, I guess it's kind of nice,
but... See?

38
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,460
Just see the vision. It's fine.

39
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,840
Just see the vision.

40
00:02:22,420 --> 00:02:24,980
There we go.

41
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:30,520
Okay.

42
00:02:30,620 --> 00:02:35,000
I mean, you, like, could help, too, but,
you know, it's fine. It's your thing. I

43
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,100
already, like, I helped put all the
lights on the Christmas tree. I don't

44
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:41,400
want to... You did. You did, right? So
I'll let you sit there. It's fine.

45
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:44,440
It is your part.

46
00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:48,360
I mean, what do you think about that?

47
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:51,480
It's like the little Christmas tree in
here.

48
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:55,540
Exactly. It's like a Charlie Brown tree.
See, you're seeing the vision.

49
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:04,620
I think we're almost at the end.

50
00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:08,560
This is crazy.

51
00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:14,490
It's not. It's the holidays. Get into
the... Spirit, ho, ho, ho, motherfucker.

52
00:03:15,270 --> 00:03:19,610
See, it's gorgeous. I think I made an
absolute masterpiece in here.

53
00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:22,730
Come on. Okay. I deserve a raise.

54
00:03:22,990 --> 00:03:25,530
Sure. I mean, it is blocking the door a
little bit, but whatever.

55
00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:30,270
I won't step over it. If I have a little
too much eggnog and rum.

56
00:03:31,350 --> 00:03:33,590
I mean, here, actually, all right, all
right.

57
00:03:33,990 --> 00:03:35,990
No, no, leave it, leave it, leave it.
It's fine.

58
00:03:36,810 --> 00:03:37,810
It's fine.

59
00:03:38,290 --> 00:03:40,610
All right, well, now I'm going to get
ready for bed.

60
00:03:41,390 --> 00:03:42,670
What? You're going to bed already?

61
00:03:42,930 --> 00:03:47,410
I mean, I guess I'm in bed, but... Yeah,
I'm going to bed already. I'm on East

62
00:03:47,410 --> 00:03:50,790
Coast time, so I'm, like, three hours
ahead. I'm tired. Jet lag.

63
00:03:51,590 --> 00:03:53,970
It's time for the princess to go to bed.

64
00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:55,450
Okay.

65
00:03:57,110 --> 00:03:59,590
So... Art... Oh, my gosh.

66
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:05,910
See, this is why it's so weird that
you're, like, my fucking step-aunt.

67
00:04:06,010 --> 00:04:07,010
Like,

68
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:09,270
you're just, like, getting dressed in
front of me, and, like... You're already

69
00:04:09,270 --> 00:04:10,270
making it weird.

70
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:17,570
Are you supposed to be, like, wrapping
presents or something?

71
00:04:17,910 --> 00:04:24,050
Um, I mean, I should be, but

72
00:04:24,050 --> 00:04:28,650
I'm kind of ditching responsibility
right now. Again, I just hopped off a

73
00:04:28,650 --> 00:04:32,510
plane, like, five hours ago, so I can
wrap the presents.

74
00:04:33,370 --> 00:04:36,130
I did my part decorating. They should be
grateful.

75
00:04:41,410 --> 00:04:43,410
This is so weird.

76
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:45,950
I'm not making it weird.

77
00:04:47,030 --> 00:04:49,910
If you stopped making it weird, it
wouldn't be weird.

78
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:55,250
Can you close the door? I can hear all
the people out there. It's so loud.

79
00:05:01,410 --> 00:05:02,850
Alright, door's closed.

80
00:05:03,190 --> 00:05:04,590
And I'm going to bed.

81
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:06,750
Good night.

82
00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:10,370
You're sleeping? I thought you were
going to sleep on like an air mattress

83
00:05:10,370 --> 00:05:11,370
or something.

84
00:05:11,430 --> 00:05:12,830
There's no air mattress.

85
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:17,260
Are you going to go to Target and buy me
one? No, I just... There's no air

86
00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:18,260
patches for me.

87
00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:19,920
There's like 100 room.

88
00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:22,380
It's a queen-size bed.

89
00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:26,600
Do you sleep like a starfish? What are
you talking about? Yes, I'm a wide

90
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:27,920
sleeper. I sleep like a starfish.

91
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:34,940
Okay, well, I'm your aunt, and I say...
I'm your step-aunt, and I say

92
00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:39,580
I'm sleeping in this bed right now
because I don't want to sleep on the

93
00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:40,580
couch.

94
00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:45,480
So... This is how it is, and you're just
going to get over it. Well, if I, like,

95
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,060
if I stretch out and hit you, it's not
my fault.

96
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,000
Oh, my God, you're so dramatic.

97
00:05:50,780 --> 00:05:51,780
I'm not dramatic.

98
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,160
It's just so hard to sleep.

99
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:54,940
Oh, my God.

100
00:05:55,340 --> 00:05:57,440
You're never going to get to sleep ever
again.

101
00:05:57,660 --> 00:05:59,260
Fix your tie, I guess, buggy me.

102
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,320
Oh, thank you. Appreciate it.

103
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:03,940
All right, well.

104
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,020
All right. Good night.

105
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:13,680
Santa Claus is real?

106
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,500
What?

107
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:19,100
It's not funny.

108
00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:21,020
It's like a serious question.

109
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,280
Why are you making fun of me? I'm asking
a genuine question.

110
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:29,680
Not like if he comes down the chimney,
but like Saint Nick.

111
00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:32,060
If he comes down my chimney, it'd be
great.

112
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:39,940
I mean, I guess he could be. Let's play
pretend for a little bit. I

113
00:06:39,940 --> 00:06:40,940
guess he could be.

114
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:42,739
Let's not pretend.

115
00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:44,580
I think that St. Nicholas was a real
man.

116
00:06:45,140 --> 00:06:46,140
I think so.

117
00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:53,040
And if he did, he would grant my wish of
finally

118
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:56,760
getting dicked down after a two-year dry
spell.

119
00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:00,860
You're like my... Okay, like you said,
you're my aunt. You can't talk like...

120
00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:02,500
That's why... I never said you.

121
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,900
No, that's not what I mean.

122
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:07,060
That is what you mean. You're talking to
me like that.

123
00:07:09,070 --> 00:07:15,830
I'm being broad. You just asked if St.
Nicholas was real, and I am saying if he

124
00:07:15,830 --> 00:07:22,430
was real, I hope he grants me to get
some dick sometime in the near future,

125
00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:28,210
maybe five minutes from now, to get dick
down. So that would be the greatest

126
00:07:28,210 --> 00:07:29,870
Christmas present ever.

127
00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:36,470
Why did you ask then? Humor me.

128
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,040
You might be good at small talk.

129
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:43,700
Clearly not.

130
00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:47,000
I might be good at big talk though.

131
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:30,520
I think you'll like this more than
you've been expressing that you want.

132
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:51,250
just say like my aunt and then they're
like all horny with me all the time I'm

133
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:56,310
like I don't know what to think I think
you do know what to think I think you

134
00:08:56,310 --> 00:08:57,730
need to just let it happen

135
00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:31,780
It's better than I even imagined.

136
00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:37,560
Really nice cock.

137
00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:45,120
You

138
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:56,620
keep

139
00:09:56,620 --> 00:10:00,230
acting like you wouldn't like this, but
your dick is too- We may have our lives.

140
00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:32,720
Don't worry about your mom. She's half a
bottle of wine.

141
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,400
Oh, God.

142
00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:24,020
Candy Cane.

143
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,140
I think you'd be fucking your shit up.

144
00:29:46,730 --> 00:29:47,730
I'm not smart, man.

145
00:31:15,889 --> 00:31:17,610
That was hot.

146
00:31:20,270 --> 00:31:24,230
Holy shit.

147
00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:28,010
That'll be our little Christmas secret.

148
00:31:30,410 --> 00:31:32,550
Merry Christmas.